A TWO WAY STREET

img_3494Someday I will go away. It’s inevitable. I know it and you know it, and yet you pretend that it isn’t so. So instead of talking about issues of significance, we play on the periphery.
I have attempted on numerous occasions to bridge the gap but to no avail, and that is disappointing and it makes me sad. Our relationship could be so much deeper, so much more meaningful, but it requires participation from both parties.
I want to know about your life, your interests, your fears, your hopes, and your dreams, but I also want to share with you my heart. My whole heart. But you don’t want to hear about that which is most dear to me. So you don’t ask, and by not asking, you speak volumes.
And so I reluctantly withdraw from a valued relationship, and I can tell by your reaction that this is distressing you. You wonder what you have done to deserve this. I want to shake you; I silently scream at you, but after a time my screams become silent.
So I will go and you will stay and you’ll wonder what went wrong. “We used to be so close. I don’t know what went wrong.”
Really.
How sad.

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WATINO’s 100th  Anniversary

Watino, Alberta, Canada. Population: 20 people if one is being generous.

July 25/15: 450-500 people more or less . . . for one day

Watino celebrated its’ 100th Anniversary on Saturday. A small band of incredibly dedicated volunteers gathered together and invited the world to join them in a celebration of life. Life now, and life yesterday. 
And the people came from far and wide. Memories came alive in the flesh. Old acquaintances became new once again. It mattered not where one cast ones’ eye for they were everywhere. It was good, and animated conversation took centre stage. 
Chronological age was merely a number on this day for there were no “old” people at this gathering, at least not if one judged it by the spring in their step, or the twinkle in their eyes. 
Watino showed up on this day in a most glorious fashion. What a testament to all those who called this place home yesterday, and those who call it home today, and those who will call it home tomorrow. And it is even a further testament to all those who came from near and far, as well as the surrounding communities, to share their support and their memories with everyone gathered here on this day.
Watino, you rock!!! 



    
    
 

WHY? WHEN?

I spend a lot of hours being absolutely useless. It’s true. Whether it be paralysis or simply a lack of direction is unclear. Uncertainty of purpose? Perhaps, but I think not. 

“Why” is not the question. “When,” much more so. I should know the “when” but apparently I don’t. And that is confusing. Confusing because I haven’t done that which needs to be done. At least not yet. And now “why” can legitimately enter the picture.

Do I need “why” to know “when,” or is that just an excuse? And all this from someone who apparently is anything but risk aversive! 

I don’t need any more “time to think” or “consultation” or “confirmation.” Ironically, what I need is of a far more practical nature and something that should have been relatively easy to acquire. 
And yet, here I am. I suspect not for long, but I’ve said that before. I hope I don’t have to say it again.

  We will see!

I’M WAITING

“I’m waiting.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Not sure.”

 

“You’re not sure what you’re waiting for?”

 

“No.”

 

“How will you know?”

 

“I’ll know.”

 

“Then what happens?”

 

“I’ll go!”

 

“Where?”

 

“Where I’m supposed to go.”

 

“But how will you know where to go?”

 

“I’ll just know.”

 

“You’re weird.”

 

“I know.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FAITH

I’ve always wondered how much “faith” I really have. As I look back on a life well lived, and as I look forward to a life alive with possibilities, I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am indeed a man of faith.
It has been said by a far greater authority than I, that with faith the size of a mustard seed, nothing is impossible. That being said, no one ever said it would be easy, in fact, anything but!   
I know that I’m usually the architect of the situations I find myself in. Normally that is a good thing but on occasion, I admit that I question my sanity. But then I check my motives and I usually find them valid, and hopefully, not self-serving.
I am constantly checking the fruit to ensure that it has come off the proper vines-the vines of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, forbearance, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If it doesn’t, I do a gut check on myself to find out what is going on. What am I up to, and why?
There are those who doubt my motives, of that I am certain, but I am not accountable to them. Those who know me well know where I come from and what I’m about. They may not always agree with my decisions but they know my heart. And Another knows my heart as well. 

LET THERE BE CHANGE . . .

My nurse called me today to inform me that it was time to book the yearly physical. We settled on a date: Mar 19/15. And then I checked the calendar and here’s what I found: Feb 7 thru Mar 18 is 40 days. Hmmm.

I do love the 40 Day challenges and they’ve proven to be quite effective for me. So, I’m about to begin a new one, and yes, it’s about losing the rest of the weight that I just don’t need!

I think I’ve exhausted the previous formula (McD and nothing but). That will certainly surprise most of the people who know me well. But, I need to take this to another level. After all, the bottom line is to be as healthy as I can be without being neurotic.

Even so, there are a few commitments I’m prepared to share, starting with my addiction of choice. Yes, I mean Diet Coke! It has to go. I love it but I’m prepared to divorce it. Yes, you heard that right. The next 40 Days will be tough without my most faithful friend by my side but it needs to be done. Old friend, you are being replaced. I know you don’t think I mean that, and yes, I know we’ve been through a lot together, but another awaits, and there isn’t room for both of you.

And, I’ve managed to gain back a few pounds. I’ve done well, and I’m I’m happy about that, as is my Doctor, but it’s time to complete this journey. So, I have full intentions of severely changing my eating habits over the next 40 Days, and yes, McD does fit into this plan! Should I say that again? McD is part of that plan but so are fruits and vegetables, smoothies, and juices. I’ll still be going to McD as it serves up far more than merely food, but I will be limiting my intake, and moving towards more natural foods for the 40 Day program. Just watch and see. I know I’m going to be watching me very closely!

I fully expect to succeed and reach the goal I’ve set for myself (I’ll reveal that later) and then I’ll board that big bird and fly away for a year and a day (ok, that’s just a figure of speech).

So, it began yesterday and already it’s off to a bad start. But, I still have 39 days to go and I’ve run out of excuses!

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